Friday, November 19, 2010

Good 'Ol Fashion Nightmare.

When I grow up I want to be uncomfortably wealthy.

So much money that it will make people feel awkward around me. Then i'll be like "Guys..Stop being awkward, i'm just rich." And that's how i'll end wars.

I had a nightmare last night that Taylor Swift died. This corresponds to my last dream where we were soul-mates. Soulmates. Soul mates. I don't know how to spell that properly so I figured i'd use all my options.

Hey Danielle, I left a sock in your bed. I'd try to play it cool and tell you it was a present..But I really liked that sock and I want it back. Ps thanks for letting me nap there while you were studying.

I told someone at the beginning of last year that I smoked a pipe and ever since then they've assumed I smoked weed. They only just asked me what kind of pipe it was. So just to clear up all misconceptions: I smoke a tobacco pipe. Unlike the kids across the hall from me who just got taken to jail 10 minutes ago for possession, I don't smoke weed.

I also don't do heroin. I just like talking about it. It's a weird obsession I have. Probably from watching Requiem For A Dream too many times.

Best movie ever in case anyone was wondering.

Remember when everyone had AIM buddy profiles and you would put who you liked at the very bottom?

I like..Jesus.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

I feel bad.

It's been like 3..4 days? Too lazy to count.

Anywho this is mobile blogging: SHOWER EDITION!

I like taking my phone in the shower. People are always like "can you really not survive without your phone for 10 minutes?"

To that I say: A. My showers are usually about 30 minutes long. B. I feel that the warm water helps me concentrate on angry birds alot better.

Side note: why are the pigs stealing the eggs? They don't even have hands. Eggs serve them no purpose.

Hi Bailey. I like your bone structure.

I discovered how to hook up xbox live in my dorm. This will note bode well for my grades.

Someone just threw up in the shower. Not mine, but close..what if it touches me?

This is a long post because I've neglected blogging for so long.

Sometimes when I'm in my room all alone I'll lock the door, draw the shades, open up private browsing on my laptop..and watch the "I Whip My Hair" music video and learn the dance moves.

Does noone else find it weird that a 10 year old girl is talking about partying and clubbing? Is Chuck-E-Cheese considered a preteen hotspot now?

I love Fresh Prince as much as the next nostalgic 19 year old but Will Smith: your daughter is what's both awesome and wrong about the world.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

A C F..A C F..A C F A C F A C F.

Mobile blogging alert: I'm 99% sure that someone pooped in one of the shower stalls. It smells really bad and sources say it might have been Stephen Bridges.

This darn autoscroll. Something about me and Blogspot don't mix. I'd switch but I don't think I'm artsy enough for Tumblr yet.

I am, therefore I think.

I realized today that I'm 1/8th done with college. If these are the best years of my life I wish they'd slow down a little bit. But for seriously, college has been a blast. It's weird knowing that I'll be telling my kids stories about the adventures I'm having right now. That's assuming I get married and don't become a self-absorbed billionaire who doesn't have time for such trivial things as family and women.

I would really like to get married eventually. I'll begin taking applications on Monday. T-Sips need not apply.

I prefer clear shower curtains so I can see the murderers coming.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Friday, November 12, 2010

Mmm bop, shdop adop. Remember when people liked bad music?

So I got a note that got me out of my 8am bowling class yesterday. But there's only one class left..and it's next week. I bet that doesn't mean anything to y'all but for me it's a big deal and i'm freaking out about it. Not really.

I want a pet. But A&M dorm rules state that it has to be able to live under water for more than 24 hours. Solution? Make a scuba suit for a hamster. All this time I thought hamster was spelled with a 'p'. My life is ruined.

 This is one of the few times when I literally don't know what to talk about. Maybe i'll talk about my dream last night. Ok so first off, I don't listen to Taylor Swift but she was starring in my dream. In my dream we became soulmates, I met her at my house where she was cleaning my fish bowl. Have you ever noticed how dreams seem so real while you're dreaming but then when you wake up you realize how ridiculous they are. To this day I can still never spell ridiculous right the first time. Anyways me and Taylor were best friends and we hung out and then we got married. When I woke up I felt weird because I hate Taylor Swift, her singing is alright but her lyrics are like what an angsty 14 year old girl would write. She's 20 and still writing about boy problems. Then again i'm 19 and if I wrote a song it would be about girl problems. Basically my dreams have gotten significantly more strange since i've gotten to college. I think it has something to do with all the naps i've been taking.

Ever since Paranormal Activities 2, I get scared demons are going to attack me in the shower.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

I'm dedicating this post to my accountability group. You guys are awesome.

Basically I've struggled with alot of things in the past, I have a fairly intense testimony that I'm not too proud of but I'm glad it all happened. I won't go into detail but please feel free to ask me about it because I love talking about it; just not in this public of a setting since it's a pretty personal matter.

It doesn't autoscroll when I do these on my phone.

This is also my shout out to Africa. Africa: you're the bomb.

Look at how cute that kid is. His name is Isaiah..something. Last names are a bit harder to pronounce and therefore remember.

I've been there 3 times and although I don't know how, I know I'll live there eventually.

Macho yako fasta juu ya muumba. (Keep your eyes on the creator.)

Good morning moonshine.

Hi my name is Wesley Dickens, and I have Mono. They actually gave me a pamphlet. Because as everyone knows, Mono is like Herpes.

Just so everyone knows, Jordan has a full length album now. Apparently my roommate is in a band.

Has anyone else ever wondered what fire looks like under a microscope?

Now for the body. I'm going back to Dallas this weekend. It's times like these that I wish some Asian guy at ITT Tech would hurry up and invent a teleportation machine (since when is teleportation not a word?) so I don't have to drive anymore. It's 4 hours. 3 if I don't care about speeding tickets. Because i'm a bamf. But seriously I was thinking about this the other the day. As soon as someone invents teleporting, our entire economy is going down the drain. Think about it: If you could just walk into a box and walk out of a box somewhere else, why would you ever need to use a car, plane, train, stain, bane, lane...or a bike. Sometimes I get carried away with my rhyming skills.

This is another one of my government conspiracies. Kinda like cancer. Think about how many doctors have jobs solely because cancer exists. As soon as we find the cure they're all going to be holding up signs that say "Will diagnose for food".

Whenever I see a person from Oklahoma...I ask them about their day.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of...Yeah

Someone played me an Xibit song earlier and I thought to myself "Since when did...wait who's that?" Then once he explained it to me I thought to myself again "Since when did Xibit stop doing Pimp My Ride and start rapping?" Kinda like Ice-T on Law and Order. It's funny because he wrote the song "Fuck the Police" (It's just a song name, don't get super-christian on me)

That was a really long opening remark.

I have Mono. I don't know what's worst: the Mono or all the kissing jokes the 50+ year old nurses made. I responded to all of them by saying "'re old." And then they cried.

Hey Danielle. If you read this, i'm sorry I broke your cross-bow, but i'm buying you a new one.

I realized one of the greatest and most useful pieces of advice I can possibly give. Leftovers. It's simple yet fantastic. Wait until your parents come in town and you all go out to dinner. As everyone is leaving ask the waiter/waitress to put EVERYONE'S leftovers in one box. One dinner at IHOP has been feeding me for the past 3 days. Lots of bacon and waffles! Woo!

"Hey you dang woodchucks! Quit chuckin' my wood!"

I feel like this post didn't live up to my own expectation.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Guy...there's mobile blogging. This is revolutionary. I literally hate typing on the computer and I'm almost never in my dorm so this is crazy convenient. The only downside is that these are going to be alot shorter. Bummer.

I guess I'll just use this while I'm in class. Or the bathroom. Or on a train. Or in a strip club..

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

What is this? I don't even..

I walked into Beutel today and there was a girl wearing a hat that just said "rage" on it. I was fairly out of it so I just looked at her and asked "Why are you rage?" and then I sat down.

I just realized how weird I must have looked.

Like in Donnie Darko when he goes up to the Asian girl and says "Everything will be ok soon" or something along those lines.

I might go back to Dallas this weekend. I want to have a relaxing weekend to recover from this death sickness that Satan gave me and let's be honest, it's impossible to relax for an entire weekend in a college town. This is a short post because i'm tired and it feels like my throat was taken advantage of by a gorilla.

Monday, November 8, 2010

I want to light a candle, but I can't find my lighter.

Hold on I have to go to the bathroom.

I didn't actually go to the bathroom but I really need to.

I'll go eventually.

I've noticed a pattern in my blogging style. I start out with a few random lines that only make sense to me, then a really long couple of sentences explaining something I was thinking about, and then i'll get into the body of the blog. The blody if you will.

Ok so here's the deal, my life update, what's happening in the realm of Wesley Dickens: I'm sick. For lack of a better (there's a better word, it's just offensive) word..I feel like poop. Feces. Defecation. It feels like I swallowed bees. And not those giant fuzzy bees that you're scared of but then you remember they don't have stingers but you're still scared of them because hey..what if that's the one giant fuzzy bee that has a stinger and you'll be forever known as that guy/girl that got stung by the giant fuzzy bee that wasn't supposed to have a stinger but did. Don't lie you know exactly what i'm talking about. I've never been stung by a bee. It's because i'm bitter.

I honestly have nothing to talk about, it's been a few days (day?) since i've blogged and I forgot what happened, probably all the drugs. Not drugs drugs, but medical drugs...;) Emoticons are awkward. I'm fine if a girl uses one when talking to me but when a guy sends one to another guy it comes off like "hey..i'm not open enough to full on come out to you right now..but i'm interested". No offense to any guys who use emoticons to other guys. Actually I lied, I hope I just offended you to the point where you stop doing it because while you might think it's ok, noone else does.

Sometimes I get nervous that there's sharks in the pool.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Started out hustlin', ended up ballin'.

Yes Grady, I would like to get food later. But right now i'm blogging so stop distracting me with your text messages and provocative pictures.

Guys this is a big deal, the enter key actually works, no lies.

Nevermind it stopped working. I jinxed it.

Works again.

I just reminded myself of something that I forgot earlier. Does that mean I have a good or bad memory? Update on my life: I'm getting sick again, but this time I don't have any medicine. I bet it's AIDS. Yep, definitely AIDS.

Note to everyone: When you see a really fat person, don't say "man the harpoons!" outloud. They tend to get offended.

I was thinking about aliens today. I bet they look exactly like us. They probably think we look weird. Honestly people who don't believe in aliens come off as ignorant. Have you ever thought about how big the Universe is? Astronomers just found a Galaxy that was 13.2 billion lightyears away. For everyone who's not as smart as me that means that if you were to travel at the speed of light (700,000,000 mph) for 13.2 billion years..You would arrive at that galaxy. That's really far away. My point is that the universe is really big. To think that out of that infinite space we are the only living things is a bit selfish. You can play the God card but I bet dealing with just humans get's boring after a while. Think of it like this. Humanity is just one of the tabs God has open on Firefox.

Friday, November 5, 2010

See what I did there? It's clever because I didn't actually take notes.

I wonder if Forest Gump ever figured out that there was a piece of paper under the chocolates holder that told you what kind of chocolate was in each slot/spot/hole. That would have destroyed his entire life's philosophy.

I finally figured out the enter key. But it's not very aesthetic.

Sometimes I use words like aesthetic to give people the allusion that i'm intelligent.

There was a guy singing in the shower today and if we weren't both naked I might have hugged him because his singing was like angels giving birth to Celine Dion giving birth to Taylor Swift getting married to Bono. That good. Maybe not THAT good, but it will still impressive given the fact that it was in a Moore hall shower stall. Our showers are in stalls..Like horses.

It's 2:37 and I have class at 3. Normally I can leave at 2:50 and make it on time because it only takes 5 minutes to bike there. Do I have my bike? Nope. Does some random douche bag bike thief have my bike? Yes. Am I assuming my bike got stolen even though it's probably just parked somewhere and I forgot where I parked it? You bet.

My Psych 107 notes for today.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Cats are the kitty cats; I dance dance dance and I dance dance dance.

Note: Coozies are not just for beer. I am using one to drink my Mountain Dew and it's working out gloriously.

I still can't figure out this damn enter key.

Update on my life: I am now lacking blood all in the hopes that it will be used to save some homeless man's life because he bent down to pick up a heroin needle and hit his head on a dumpster. If homeless people are a race then that was very racist. But they aren't a race so what I said is just a normal statement. I'm offensive, deal with it.

Another update on my life: I just found chocolate on my leg. It doesn't smell like chocolate so let's pray to Jesus/God/Buddha/Spaghetti Monster that it's not poop. This being a northside dorm, it very well could be someone elses poop

I was told this blog needed more cats.

Totes probs the best hundcal froyo.

I just failed a test. I say that but I think I did pretty well.

"An Aggie does not lie or steal"

Interpret that however you want to

I just wrote a poem:
Roses are red, violets are blue, my dorm smells like ass.

But seriously, i'm hungry and my Sbisa sig doesn't start for another 20 minutes. I might just go pregame it..with food. Not alcohol. Because i'm in BCA and we're awesome without alcohol. Go Jesus.

50 views? That's as embarrassing as my bowling score.

"Hey Wesley, why are you up so early?" I'm glad you asked. I have an 8am bowling class. "But Wesley, isn't bowling easy?" No. No it isn't. Don't lie to me, you would have asked me those questions if I hadn't asked them for you first. But yeah, Thursdays are awesome and shit at the same time. I only have two classes..But one of them starts at 8am and it's off campus so I have to wake up extra early.

I vow to figure out how to use the enter key on day.

Hold the phones I just use the down arrow.

Now that my life is simpler: Who's idea was it to dedicate candles to saints? I ask because I have a "San Martin Cabellero" candle sitting on my desk that I bought at HEB. This question is more or less directed at Brandon because you have alot of these candles and you're also super religious.

I've more or less taken it on myself to give lessons about Freshman year to Seniors. This will be another pointer. Register for classes with friends. Your parents will give you the whole "you don't need to be socializing during class blah blah blah we pay for tuition blah blah blah back in my day..." speech but they (if they're anything like my parents) have forgotten some minor details about life in their old age (sorry dad, but it's true). If you don't have friends in your classes, you will either A. Sleep, B. Skip, or C. Go on a shooting rampage in your lecture hall. Option C might not happen, but it's always best to prepare for the worst.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Call of Duty is offensive

Well obviously i'm not doing homework even though I have a test tomorrow, so I might as well blog. This is a good outlet for my feelings. I sound like a 15 year old girl. None of you were wondering what my test is over tomorrow, but now you are. Since you're wondering i'll tell you. It's in STLC. What's that? Application of Learning Theory. I'm not really sure how those letters correspond to the course name but like all other things that college classes include, I don't question them. Basically it's a class that teaches me how to study and maintain study habits. Ironically enough i'm failing it. I use the term failing very relatively. I have a C. I just think/know I could be doing better.

The only thing keeping me non-depressed is the fact that tomorrow is Thursday. Helpful tip #2 for my highschool friends: The weekend starts on Thursday. No that's not just an ad for Buffalo Wild Wings, it's actually true. Whether or not you have classes on Friday is unimportant. I would know because I have 3 on Fridays. Thursday is when the bars open...I don't drink...and that's when the parties start. I can't really speak for other University's but here at Texas A&M weekends are one non-stop party when there's a home game. It starts on Thursday night when everyone goes out dancing at "The Hall" and whenever you decide to wake up, there's a good chance you've missed all your Friday classes so that means it's Friday afternoon and you have to go to a party. After that party is Midnight yell which is my favorite Aggie tradition. After Midnight yell is, you guessed it, more parties. Then you close your eyes and when they open again you're at a tailgate, then a football game, then...wait for it...a party. Then..It's sober Sunday.

I really don't like blogspot. The enter button doesn't work like I want it too and its making me angry. That on top of the uncomfortably loud gun noises coming from my roommates xbox playing..I'll be punching something soon.

Pasta is awkward

I would like to dedicate this post to my friend Stephen, simply because he reminded me to blog.

So today was weird, I went to sleep last night at 1:30am which might seem really late but for me it was early. Since I went to bed so early I actually woke up before my alarm but naturally I thought "oh ok, i'll just go back to sleep" so I did. I didn't wake up till 11:45. Class started at 11:30. I wasn't too upset because we were just watching some movie about the Holocaust. I don't want this to be a blog about my daily activities so i'll just cut that part short.

Something i'm noticing about the difference between highschool and college is the friendships. I'll be honest I didn't care about hardly anyone in highschool, and if I told them I did it was most likely a lie. I probably just offended alot of people. But in college I have enough sense to realize that the people i'm friends with now will most likely be the best men at my wedding. It makes you look at things differently. I'm much slower to piss people off and I try alot harder to mend fights and such.

My advice to highschool seniors: If you're not going to college with someone, there is a solid chance you'll never see them again. Whether or not y'all are friends in highschool doesn't matter at all. If you don't go to school with them next year, y'all will stop being friends. That might sound depressing, and it is, but don't worry you'll make better friends. I have.

Here's the typical 'what i'm listening to right now' part:
Roll Out by Chrispy

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

4th times the charm.

As the title states, this is the 4th time i've attempted to write a blog. I either A. forgot about it, B. couldn't think of anything to write, or C. said too many mean things that I later regretted. Don't worry i'll be saying plenty of mean and 'hateful' (it's in quotes because hateful is a word that is up to interpretation) things, I just won't regret them. YOLO.