Friday, November 19, 2010

Good 'Ol Fashion Nightmare.

When I grow up I want to be uncomfortably wealthy.

So much money that it will make people feel awkward around me. Then i'll be like "Guys..Stop being awkward, i'm just rich." And that's how i'll end wars.

I had a nightmare last night that Taylor Swift died. This corresponds to my last dream where we were soul-mates. Soulmates. Soul mates. I don't know how to spell that properly so I figured i'd use all my options.

Hey Danielle, I left a sock in your bed. I'd try to play it cool and tell you it was a present..But I really liked that sock and I want it back. Ps thanks for letting me nap there while you were studying.

I told someone at the beginning of last year that I smoked a pipe and ever since then they've assumed I smoked weed. They only just asked me what kind of pipe it was. So just to clear up all misconceptions: I smoke a tobacco pipe. Unlike the kids across the hall from me who just got taken to jail 10 minutes ago for possession, I don't smoke weed.

I also don't do heroin. I just like talking about it. It's a weird obsession I have. Probably from watching Requiem For A Dream too many times.

Best movie ever in case anyone was wondering.

Remember when everyone had AIM buddy profiles and you would put who you liked at the very bottom?

I like..Jesus.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

I feel bad.

It's been like 3..4 days? Too lazy to count.

Anywho this is mobile blogging: SHOWER EDITION!

I like taking my phone in the shower. People are always like "can you really not survive without your phone for 10 minutes?"

To that I say: A. My showers are usually about 30 minutes long. B. I feel that the warm water helps me concentrate on angry birds alot better.

Side note: why are the pigs stealing the eggs? They don't even have hands. Eggs serve them no purpose.

Hi Bailey. I like your bone structure.

I discovered how to hook up xbox live in my dorm. This will note bode well for my grades.

Someone just threw up in the shower. Not mine, but close..what if it touches me?

This is a long post because I've neglected blogging for so long.

Sometimes when I'm in my room all alone I'll lock the door, draw the shades, open up private browsing on my laptop..and watch the "I Whip My Hair" music video and learn the dance moves.

Does noone else find it weird that a 10 year old girl is talking about partying and clubbing? Is Chuck-E-Cheese considered a preteen hotspot now?

I love Fresh Prince as much as the next nostalgic 19 year old but Will Smith: your daughter is what's both awesome and wrong about the world.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

A C F..A C F..A C F A C F A C F.

Mobile blogging alert: I'm 99% sure that someone pooped in one of the shower stalls. It smells really bad and sources say it might have been Stephen Bridges.

This darn autoscroll. Something about me and Blogspot don't mix. I'd switch but I don't think I'm artsy enough for Tumblr yet.

I am, therefore I think.

I realized today that I'm 1/8th done with college. If these are the best years of my life I wish they'd slow down a little bit. But for seriously, college has been a blast. It's weird knowing that I'll be telling my kids stories about the adventures I'm having right now. That's assuming I get married and don't become a self-absorbed billionaire who doesn't have time for such trivial things as family and women.

I would really like to get married eventually. I'll begin taking applications on Monday. T-Sips need not apply.

I prefer clear shower curtains so I can see the murderers coming.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Friday, November 12, 2010

Mmm bop, shdop adop. Remember when people liked bad music?

So I got a note that got me out of my 8am bowling class yesterday. But there's only one class left..and it's next week. I bet that doesn't mean anything to y'all but for me it's a big deal and i'm freaking out about it. Not really.

I want a pet. But A&M dorm rules state that it has to be able to live under water for more than 24 hours. Solution? Make a scuba suit for a hamster. All this time I thought hamster was spelled with a 'p'. My life is ruined.

 This is one of the few times when I literally don't know what to talk about. Maybe i'll talk about my dream last night. Ok so first off, I don't listen to Taylor Swift but she was starring in my dream. In my dream we became soulmates, I met her at my house where she was cleaning my fish bowl. Have you ever noticed how dreams seem so real while you're dreaming but then when you wake up you realize how ridiculous they are. To this day I can still never spell ridiculous right the first time. Anyways me and Taylor were best friends and we hung out and then we got married. When I woke up I felt weird because I hate Taylor Swift, her singing is alright but her lyrics are like what an angsty 14 year old girl would write. She's 20 and still writing about boy problems. Then again i'm 19 and if I wrote a song it would be about girl problems. Basically my dreams have gotten significantly more strange since i've gotten to college. I think it has something to do with all the naps i've been taking.

Ever since Paranormal Activities 2, I get scared demons are going to attack me in the shower.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

I'm dedicating this post to my accountability group. You guys are awesome.

Basically I've struggled with alot of things in the past, I have a fairly intense testimony that I'm not too proud of but I'm glad it all happened. I won't go into detail but please feel free to ask me about it because I love talking about it; just not in this public of a setting since it's a pretty personal matter.

It doesn't autoscroll when I do these on my phone.

This is also my shout out to Africa. Africa: you're the bomb.

Look at how cute that kid is. His name is Isaiah..something. Last names are a bit harder to pronounce and therefore remember.

I've been there 3 times and although I don't know how, I know I'll live there eventually.

Macho yako fasta juu ya muumba. (Keep your eyes on the creator.)

Good morning moonshine.

Hi my name is Wesley Dickens, and I have Mono. They actually gave me a pamphlet. Because as everyone knows, Mono is like Herpes.

Just so everyone knows, Jordan has a full length album now. Apparently my roommate is in a band.

Has anyone else ever wondered what fire looks like under a microscope?

Now for the body. I'm going back to Dallas this weekend. It's times like these that I wish some Asian guy at ITT Tech would hurry up and invent a teleportation machine (since when is teleportation not a word?) so I don't have to drive anymore. It's 4 hours. 3 if I don't care about speeding tickets. Because i'm a bamf. But seriously I was thinking about this the other the day. As soon as someone invents teleporting, our entire economy is going down the drain. Think about it: If you could just walk into a box and walk out of a box somewhere else, why would you ever need to use a car, plane, train, stain, bane, lane...or a bike. Sometimes I get carried away with my rhyming skills.

This is another one of my government conspiracies. Kinda like cancer. Think about how many doctors have jobs solely because cancer exists. As soon as we find the cure they're all going to be holding up signs that say "Will diagnose for food".

Whenever I see a person from Oklahoma...I ask them about their day.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of...Yeah

Someone played me an Xibit song earlier and I thought to myself "Since when did...wait who's that?" Then once he explained it to me I thought to myself again "Since when did Xibit stop doing Pimp My Ride and start rapping?" Kinda like Ice-T on Law and Order. It's funny because he wrote the song "Fuck the Police" (It's just a song name, don't get super-christian on me)

That was a really long opening remark.

I have Mono. I don't know what's worst: the Mono or all the kissing jokes the 50+ year old nurses made. I responded to all of them by saying "'re old." And then they cried.

Hey Danielle. If you read this, i'm sorry I broke your cross-bow, but i'm buying you a new one.

I realized one of the greatest and most useful pieces of advice I can possibly give. Leftovers. It's simple yet fantastic. Wait until your parents come in town and you all go out to dinner. As everyone is leaving ask the waiter/waitress to put EVERYONE'S leftovers in one box. One dinner at IHOP has been feeding me for the past 3 days. Lots of bacon and waffles! Woo!

"Hey you dang woodchucks! Quit chuckin' my wood!"

I feel like this post didn't live up to my own expectation.